TOS Homeschool Review--Nanuk: A Baby Polar Bear's Story

As a bibliophile, I adore books.  I sometimes keep myself away from bookstores so that I don't spend food money on my preferred form of nourishment.  I always think of the Erasmus quote: "When I get a little money I buy books; and if any is left, I buy food and clothes."  That sentence quite aptly describes me.  It is a special treat to me, then, when I receive a book in the mail that is free. 

(When I was teaching writing and literature at K State, I took such unfair advantage of the free textbooks I could request from publishers.  Do you have any idea how many free copies of short story and introduction to literature anthologies are on my bookshelves upstairs?  I can't part with any of them.  It's a problem.) 

The book we received in the mail to review was called Nanuk: A Baby Polar Bear's Story, which is part of a series called My Animal Family from Smart Kids Publishing, Inc.  We loved this book!  My kids both loved the story of a young polar bear who loves to romp and play with his brother but who is also learning how to survive in his cold, icy habitat.  The artwork is just as compelling as the story, and each page is covered with realistic and beautiful watercolors of this polar bear family and the landscape that surrounds them.  I know that this will be a book that we will look at together many times. 

Although the hardback book is, in itself, worth its $10.39 pricetag, the book also comes with a companion DVD with BBC footage that shows a mother polar bear and her two cubs in their natural habitat.  My kids both loved the video.  Not only is the footage incredible, but the commentary is wonderful, too.  The narration is done by a child from the point of view of one of the young polar bears, and this pov made the DVD quite interesting for my kids, who sat in front of the TV quite enthralled.  I was trying to fix lunch in the kitchen, and I must confess I kept sneaking back into the living room to watch the footage and learn about polar bears.  The DVD also includes a song to learn, which I was a little disappointed in.  The song was well-done, but I don't think that it is catchy enough for my kids to want to repeatedly listen to and actually learn. 

One fun perk to this book is that when you buy the book you are given 30 days of access to the My Animal Family website where kids can play educational games.  My daughter liked the games, but it took quite awhile to earn enough points to "buy" necessary items to get further in the game, and that was a little frustrating for her.  It seems if at least some of the items were worth fewer points the game might hold kids' interest for a longer period of time.  

Overall, the print and media combination of this book series is quite well done.  There are several other books in this series as well, and I think it would be well worth the money to invest in at least one of these wonderful books. 

If you would like to see what my other TOS Crewmates had to say about these books check out their reviews here.


Disclaimer: As a member of the TOS Homeschool Crew I was provided a free copy of this product for my honest evaluation. I was given no other compensation for this review.

missing ed....

Two years ago today we lost our Ed.  I know he was "just" a dog.  I know it's probably silly that I am sitting here with tears.  But to us, he was family.  He was our Ed--our melancholy, deep, beautiful old soul.  In honor of him, I am copying and pasting my post about him from two years ago. 
I still love you, Ed....  <3

Sometime in the blackness of last night I had a dream. In that dream, I looked up and saw Ed, my old soul, my Eeyore, my weimaraner of almost 12 years. He ambled over to his dog bed to lie down, and I threw myself on his back, buried my face in his soft fur, and sobbed. I was crying deep, grieving sobs, but I was also so joyful. “I didn’t know…” I told him between sobs. “I didn’t know that you could come back. I’m so glad you’re here. So, so glad you’re here. I’ve missed you so.” After awhile he sort of dissolved into space, and I was sad, but I was also relieved. He would come back. I didn’t know that could happen after death.


Then I woke up, and of course it was just a dream. Ed was gone, and I knew that he wouldn’t come back ever again. I will no longer be able to stare into his soft, knowing eyes. I will never again wrap my arms around his solid, lumpy softness. I will never again rest my head on his back and breathe in his musky scent.

Ed died last Monday of gastric dilatation. I didn’t even get to tell him a proper goodbye, because I didn’t know that Matt would feel his last heartbeats beneath his fingers as he carried our good old dog into the vet that morning. I had been talking to my mother-in-law on the phone, expressing my concern about Ed’s obvious discomfort, when Matt’s call beeped in. I had made Matt promise me he would call me if the vet decided to put him to sleep so that I could go there and say goodbye and hold him as he died. But it was too late. When I called my mother-in-law back moments later, she didn’t even speak when she answered the phone. She couldn’t talk, because she was crying too. Matt came and picked me up and we returned to the vet together with Jack and Molly. He just looked like he was sleeping there on the table, and I don’t think it really sunk in as I held him and hugged him and told him goodbye that I was, in fact, telling him goodbye forever. An hour later we picked Amélie up in the parking lot of her school, and she held on to her daddy and cried as we told her the news.

I know that a lot of people love their dogs, but Ed was special. He truly was an old soul. When we got Ed, he was a reject puppy who was skinny and neurotic and all feet and ears. We instantly fell in love. At the time, I was struggling deeply with an eating disorder, and as strange as it sounds, Ed’s arrival was a crucial impetus in my healing. Ed unconditionally loved me. I unconditionally loved Ed. I honestly don’t think I had ever allowed myself to be unconditionally loved before.

He always seemed so sad, though. When he was three years old we ascertained that his melancholy temperament was due to loneliness, so we brought home a very young soul, Molly. We quickly realized that loneliness was not his problem, and I don’t know that he ever forgave us for ousting him from his only-child position in our family and introducing to him not only a dog sister, but also two human siblings. Still, he loved us, followed us everywhere, and always, always provided a solid yet soft self to wrap hurting arms around.

He was part-human, I think…or perhaps he was more than human. I remember one time, especially, when a dear friend flew in to visit me because she was in the middle of a heart-breaking crisis. We spent hours on my couch talking and crying, and every time my friend would be about to cry, Ed would lay his head on her lap and look up at her with limpid eyes full of sympathy and understanding. It was uncanny. It was amazing. It was Ed.

He should have been a bird dog. He should have spent his life galloping through fields and bringing his master his prey. Instead, he was stuck with us. He patiently stalked squirrels in our back yard, “pointed” at anything even remotely interesting, and climbed, with both increasing difficulty and frequency, on our couch or bed. He watched us through his old-soul eyes, and I think that if I would have stopped, flung my arms around him, and listened more often, I might be a wiser woman today.

My heart hurts as I write this. I can’t even see my comptuer screen.

I miss you, Ed. I love you. Please come back to me in my dreams again so I can busy my nose in your fur, and please, please, God…let there be at least one dog in heaven, and let that dog be Ed.

Corps of Re-Discovery Review--Cornhusk Doll Kit

When we received the Cornhusk Doll Kit in the mail from Corps of Re-Discovery, Amélie's eyes lit up.  She loves it when we get any package in the mail to review, but the opportunity to do a craft together made her especially excited.  She loves "projects"! 

(and let me just insert here right up front that I might have pictures to include except for the fact that my camera has hidden itself in a remote location of my home.  Argh!)

Corps of Re-Discovery is a company that was founded after a homeschooling family took the task of studying American history quite literally and traversed across 47 of the 50 states!  They came back, combined their creativity and ingenuity, and created a company that offers craft projects of several eras and people of American history, including Native American, Pioneer and Colonial, and Frontiersman.  They also offer leatherworking materials.             

We received the girl cornhusk doll to assemble, and honestly, the timing could not have been more perfect for us.  We are studying world history this year, but we just started reading Little House in the Big Woods, and Laura has a cornhusk doll!  Amélie now has more of an idea about what life was like when children were playing with cornhusk dolls rather than American Girl dolls, and she can also use her imagination and play "Little House on the Prairie." 

We enjoyed assembling the doll together, although there were a couple of spots where I got a bit confused (however, it is hard to say whether this is a flaw in the product directions or my own user error!).  At the moment she is naked, because I could not maneuver a needle and thread if my very life depended on it.  We are going to bring the doll to my mother-in-law's house, and I am sure she will be more than happy to help us sew the apron. 

I was very impressed with this educational AND fun product, and at the very reasonable price of $4.50, I just might order more of these doll kids or some of the other reasonably priced items from their website for Christmas presents! 

If you would like to see what my other TOS Crewmates had to say about both the Cornhusk Doll and other Corps of Rediscovery Products, check them out here.

Disclaimer: As a member of the TOS Homeschool Crew I was provided a free copy of this product for my honest evaluation. I was given no other compensation for this review.

 

chiaroscuro, this time with a bit more light and a little less shadow

I feel like I have been rather negative on this blog recently.  It is true that I have been incredibly overwhelmed lately with how things are going in my life and rather underwhelmed at my ability to deal with life's daily stresses.  Some things are, for sure, tough right now. 
Jack is exerting every ounce of power his little three-year-old self can muster.  I am exhausted with the effort of out-maneuvering and overpowering that little boy's strong, strong will.  Today, I have battle scars in the form of teeth marks.  And he probably still tastes the lingering, acidic effect of the vinegar I stuck on his tongue.  There are long, tough days ahead with that little guy.  But that same tough, strong, passionate spirit that exhausts me also delights me.  While he expresses his anger with abandon, so does he also express his love, adoration, and delight. 
Amélie has been tough in a different way.  She doesn't bite or hit or roar, but she does fling herself on the floor in moments of dramatic flair (and flair, mind you, is a nice way to put it).
"Do you really think I can figure out how to put QUOTATION MARKS OUTSIDE OF OTHER PUNCTUATION MARKS?!?!" 
Oh, the horror.  The injustice.
"YOU WANT ME TO MEMORIZE THIS POEM IN 8 WEEKS?????  I CAN'T DO IT!  I CAN'T!  THERE'S NO WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!"
(She has already memorized the poem, by the way, which I knew she would and could.  She learned "Bed in Summer" by Robert Louis Stevenson this week, and next week, we will start a new poem, probably...hopefully...with less panic and drama.)

I see myself in my kids.  I see my own anger, bitten back, swallowed, and then expressed in peeled hangnails, anxiety, depression, and, in my past, through an eating disorder and other various self-destructive behaviors. 

I also see in Jack different flavors of the OCD that haunts me today.  It worries me.  Scares me.  Keeps me up at night with fear and grief.

And in Amélie, I see a mirror-image of the anxiety that plagues me day by day and moment by moment.  How I often greet a new scenario with the desire to fling myself onto the floor, with her exact dramatic flair, and exclaim, "I can't!  I can't!  I just know I CAN'T!!!"

And that's the bad stuff.

But here's the good stuff, and I'm writing it here more for me to remember than for you.  ;)

This week's homeschooling has been great.  Truly great.  Sure, there were the fits about quotation marks and poem memorization.  But honestly, that's been the extent of drama in our homeschooling week, which is pretty much borderline miraculous.  Her attitude has been amazing this week.  She has delighted in learning about how birds incubate eggs.  She has soaked up information on the upcoming Hindu festival of Diwali, and has helped me concoct ways that we can celebrate our own festival of lights.  She has surprised me with the creative, bright color combinations of her rangolis.  She brought me to tears as I saw the empathy and wonder and faith in her eyes as we finished the amazing, adventurous story of the missionary Gladys Aylward .  She has absolutely floored me with her ability to memorize verses and poetry so quickly.  It's been good. 

And I want to remember this good next week, when she doesn't want to do a single blasted thing that is on our school to-do list. 

Several years ago I discovered Leonard Cohen, and some of my favorite lines ever are from his song, "Anthem":
Ring the bells that still can ring.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in.

This week, I am thankful for the cracks that have let in some light.  I needed light.  Oh, how I needed light.   Life is such a woven tapestry of chiaroscuro, and I am thankful that this week, I was blessed to spend some time in the light as well as the shadow.  I am thankful that I can celebrate my own Diwali, my own festival of lights, within my soul.

TOS Review--PGKey's SafeKey

As a member of the TOS Homeschool Crew, we received a PGKey SafeKey in the mail to test and review.  As their website states, "PG Key was created and endorsed by a team that includes internet security specialists, law enforcement, educators, parenting experts and family psychologists to give you the first complete internet safety solution. PG Key gives you everything you need to keep your children and teens safe online and be alerted and informed when dangers do come up – all with one simple, plug in device." 

Their website also clearly explains the tools you will receive when you purchase the PG Key for $49.95, which you can purchase directly from their website, from http://www.amazon.com/, or from select retailers.  You can even request a free trial! 

Access Control

Control computer use by inserting or unplugging PG Key.

Time Allowance
Decide the amount of time the computer can be used daily.

Content Filtering
Eliminate unwanted results from innocent searches.

Site Blocking
Block sites you decide are inappropriate.

Activity Tracking
Review all activity on the PC with a DVD-like interface.

Activity Notifications
Be informed via text message or e-mail of any flagged activity.

Chat and E-mail Logging
See both sides of chat and e-mail conversations.

Computer Configuration
Properly configure all users of the protected PC.

User Name and Password Logging
Keep track of user names and passwords.

Inappropriate Activity Evidence
Use video recording to show obvious or suspected inappropriate activity.

I think that if I suspected that my kids were looking up inappropriate sites on the computer, this device could be very helpful.  It is nice that there are no monthly or annual fees and that all you have to do is plug it in to start protecting your computer (and your kids).  I most appreciated the feature of blocking unwanted results from innocent searches.  I have certainly sat down with my kids to look up a subject we are interested in and been shocked to see what has shown up on the screen!  My fingers' reflexes have certainly been tested to see how quickly they could click away from a picture!  We have not had that problem since inserting the PG Key.

I am not entirely sure how I feel about the chat and email logging and the video recording, however.  Honestly, I don't have kids old enough where I have to worry about what they are typing or chatting.  I would like to think that I won't invade their privacy and check what they are saying online.  It feels like peeking into someone's journal, which feels very wrong to me.  However, some of you with older kids may call me naive, and I may say the same about myself and change my mind when my children are older.  :) 

Because my kids are so young, we did not find this device as useful, I am sure, as families with older kids.  Some of those families with older children did review this product, and you can read what they have to say here. 

Disclaimer: As a member of the TOS Homeschool Crew I was provided a free copy of this product for my honest evaluation. I was given no other compensation for this review.


on falling apart and piecing myself back together again

I can probably count on one hand the number of times Matt has come home from work to find me collapsed someplace crying.  Truthfully, I don't cry that much.  Honestly, I wish I cried more than I did.  I often feel like crying much more frequently than I can actually execute the crying.  Thursday afternoon, however, was an exception.  When Matt walked in the back door, I was crying.  And I couldn't stop. 
I had to stop, though, because I am driven by duty, and I was hosting the mom's group from church for dinner.  So after a few minutes of sympathetic hugging (thankfully, he wasn't intent on fixing the situation at that moment), I turned off the tears and got to work.
I still felt sick to my stomach, though.

Thursday was not a good day. 
Turns out, Friday wasn't really either. 
The thing is, I think I am a bit of a mess at the moment. 

I actually started this post on Friday, and I spelled out the nightmare of the day before.  It wasn't that bad.  It was kid stuff.  Temper tantrums.  Whining.  A feeling of complete and utter helplessness and incompetence in my role as a parent.  The kind of junk we moms and dads deal with all of the time.
But I had absolutely no emotional reserve to handle it.
And that's why I fell apart. 

I have observed, though, in these past few days when I have felt on the brink of losing my mind, the moments when I feel a bit more pieced together again.
The people I have spent time with in the past few days have no idea how just the acts of engaging in adult conversation, receiving a friendly hug, or offering a sympathetic nod have strengthened me, fortified me, and helped me weave the shreds of my soul back together again.

And here's the other thing I realized: I need to read.
Last night the kids played outside a bit and I sat inside on the couch.  One hand was in a popcorn bowl filled with coconut-oil and salt drenched popcorn.  The other hand was turning pages of a book I have connected to in ways I can't quite explain.
The book is called Amazing Grace: A Vocabulary of Faith by Kathleen Norris.  I would love to recommend this book to you, but I'm not sure how.  About a week ago I sent an effusively enthusiastic email to someone about this book.  I copied a poignant and inspiring paragraph.  I offered my own insight.  I think the email fell on deaf ears (or blind eyes, or whatever emails fall on). 
And that's OK, because the thing about this book is that I want to burrow down into it.  When I read this book I curl up, hunker down, and let is swallow, nourish, and envelop me. 

You know how sometimes, when you carry a delicious secret around with you for a long time, and you tell someone about it, it somehow loses its deliciousness?
That's how this book is, perhaps.
Except............I'm telling you about it. 
I'm not telling you anything specific, though.  I'm not necessarily recommending it to you.
I'm just saying that this book has been necessary for me.
And that after I finish it, I will probably feel a little lost...but also, I hope, more whole and complete.

Maybe you should read this book.
And if you do, maybe you shouldn't tell me about it.
Maybe you should just let yourself be swallowed, nourished, and enveloped. 

And maybe, just maybe, next time you see me you will find me a little less emotionally shredded and a little more at peace. 



blogwalk

The blogwalk has been a bit quiet over at TOS lately, so when another list was posted it got lost in the shuffle of my life.  Here is the blogwalk from a couple of weeks ago:

1. Hearthside Homeschool Reviews... And More
2. Loving Learning at Home
3. Life on the Roller Coaster
4. A Life Better Than I Deserve
5. Joy in the Journey
6. Homeschooling, Autism and Stuff
7. There is Hope
8. Homeschool Reviews for You
9. Mom Loves Books
10. The Legacy of Home