Saturday, December 11, 2010

blog reconciliation

I haven't posted anything besides a review on here in so long that I don't even know what to say anymore. There is sort of this awkwardness that exists now between myself and my blog.  We don't quite know what to say to each other.  My blog is sick of hearing my excuses for not posting.  I feel a lot of guilt, so I just tend to avoid our relationship.  Maybe we need therapy. 

A blog is so tricky, really.  I came home from a meeting with someone a few weeks ago, and I had so much to process.  Normally, I would hash it out with Matt after the kids were in bed, but he had the audacity to go meet some guy from Canada for sushi that night after the kids were in tucked in, so I didn't have my usual sounding board.  I tried to journal, but my thoughts were flying so fast that my pen couldn't keep up.  I opened up a "New Post" window here, but it was really too personal (and fresh and unprocessed) to post publicly.  I didn't know what to do with myself!
I think I actually ended up just talking to myself.  That worked pretty well, but if just wasn't the same.

Do you talk to yourself?  I don't mean muttering things like, "Now where the heck did I put those keys?" but like a real conversation, like talking to yourself as if that self were sitting beside you in the passenger seat while you were driving.  I am a big fan of talking to myself.  If you ever drive up beside me, please don't tell me at a later date what I look like, because then I will have to hold my phone up to my ear or something to make it look like I am actually talking to someone.  Maybe it is a wee bit crazy, but if I am by myself, a rare enough occasion in itself, chances are I have a lot of unfinished thoughts in my brain that need to be thought through.  And the easiest way to do that is to talk out loud.  If I think inside my head, then my brain will wander 20,000 different directions, and I won't ever complete a thought. 

I really didn't mean to write a post on talking to myself.  I didn't really mean to write a post on anything.  I'm just breaking the silence and trying to reestablish a relationship with my blog.  I hope this is a first step towards getting back together again.  I'm uncomfortable with our awkward silence and am hoping for a reconciliation.

1 comment:

  1. Yeah, I have conversations with myself all the time. :)