Tuesday, August 31, 2010

sick 'n tired of being sick 'n tired

i have nothing profound to say tonight. 
except that i'm sick 'n tired of being sick 'n tired.

i think i am getting over this mess.  i had no idea that a sinus infection could just knock a person out cold.  the frustrating thing is that i have been sick since wednesday.  wednesday.  it is now tuesday night.  i didn't start really believing i was sick until monday.  monday.  do you have any idea how upset i am at myself?  why can't i listen to myself?  why can't i listen to my body?  why can't i trust my body when it says, "jill, if walking up your stairs is an effort, and if you wake up in the morning and your eyes are glued shut, if your head feels like it's going to explode, and if you feel like you are walking through a pit of sludge, something is wrong.  lie down.  be quiet.  cancel your appointments.  rest."  why didn't i listen to myself?  that's the frustrating thing.  i don't like being sick, of course--but the thing i really hate is that i didn't listen to myself.  i thought i was doing better with that.
apparently not.

it is now 10:13 p.m.  that little voice in my head is now yelling quite loudly, "GO TO BED!!!" 

i think i might listen to her tonight.  she seems to know what she is talking about.

good night, friends, and stay tuned for a post on how the month of journaling went...and what next month's mindfulness project will be. 

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