Monday, September 13, 2010

a litany (as in, "a tedious repetitive series," not as in "a series of petitions for use in church services or processions")

I can't believe it has been over a week since I posted last.  What, exactly, is happening to my weeks, my time, my life?  Wow. 
Last week wasn't easy.  I have this crazy drive to do everything WELL (as my mother-in-law ever-so-gently reminded me today), but while that trait seems noble and good, it definitely has its, for example, the fact that I live in a state of feeling constantly overwhelmed, out of control, and incompetent.  I could go on.  It's rather annoying. 

Anyway, we are in our 6th week into homeschooling, and it's really going well.  It really is.  Amélie is learning like a little sponge, and it's such a joy to teach her (usually).  She loves history and science and reading, and she is even enjoying math this year, thanks to the absence of worksheets and the introduction of math as facilitated by a wonderful and brilliant friend (who also happened to teach 2nd grade before adopting two Down Syndrome babies).  However, our curriculum is very labor-intensive, and I feel like I have to do it all and do it right.  I (like many homeschooling parents, I think) am so worried that Amélie is going to get behind or something.  The last thing I want to do is make her stupid, you know?  :)  I'm pretty sure that's not happening, but just in case, I make sure we do everything.  And some days.........that's just hard. 

Plus, I have a little boy who feels a little left out sometimes, I think, and I don't have the time or energy for him that I think I should have.

Plus, I have a little girl who also wants me to play with her, not just teach her.

Plus, I have a husband with whom I like to spend time that involves both quality and quantity.

Plus, I'm a doula, and I love my clients and look forward to meeting with them and then assisting them in birth.

Plus, I have a house to keep halfway clean and organized.

Plus, I am reviewing homeschooling materials.

Plus, I have laundry.

Plus, I cook.

Plus, I need to exercise.

Plus, I like to write.

Plus, I like to see my friends.

Plus, if I don't get enough sleep I get cranky (this blog entry is a case in point).

Plus, I need to spend some time ALONE.

You know what I need?
I need a doula.
a life doula.

and a hug.  I could use one of those today, too.


  1. Jill, my list might look a little different but I am right there with you. I feel desperate and weak most of the time. You are amazing and making such an impact on your kiddos and those around you every day.

  2. Do you realize there were days when, as students walked out the door, it would occur to me that I hadn't had the opportunity to have ANY conversation with one of them? I mean NO DIRECT VERBAL CONTACT. Amelie is so infinitely blessed by the commitment you're showing her education by dedicating even HALF of the planning time you do to her lessons. She's a remarkable kid. She's going to do great and if you stress too much about your curriculum you'll miss out on the ways she gracefully and gloriously fills in any gaps you've left. Give her genetic make up and her living environment a bit more credit, madame.
    Plus, also, you're clearly supplementing any missing direct attention for Jack with compensatory chocolate in his diet. I think you should prescribe a little for yourself. I think you just hung the moon and I'm sure the other 75% of your household would heartily agree.