this 'n that

I started a post last week, and part of it was a whole paragraph devoted to a glowing review of homeschooling, so I can't post that tonight, because my daughter informed me this afternoon that she doesn't learn anything in school.  Now, I will say, she said the same thing last year when she was in regular school (and, I think, the year before), so of course she is not a credible source, but still,
I'll admit,
I flipped out a bit.
SERIOUSLY???????  Not learning?
What, exactly, does she think we do from 9:00 - 3:30 or so every flippin' day???? 
When she asks to read yet another chapter of a book to me, is that not learning?
When she explains to Matt at the dinner table how our food is digested or how our nerves deliver messages to our brain or how our nose blocks germs or about her vibrating voice box has she really learned nothing? 
When she recognizes the Greek gods and goddesses when they come up in a TV show, has she not been learning?
When she has memorized twelve Bible verses in the past 8 weeks, is that not learning?
When she can whip the fact families out of her brain, is that not learning?
When she can name the 7 continents and 4 oceans without even blinking, is that not learning?
AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I'll admit it.  I kinda...sorta...lost it a bit.  I didn't yell or scream or throw things (although inside that is precisely what I was doing), but I did suggest that, if she didn't think she was learning, she could most certainly attend the lovely school down the street, and then I would spend my day doing other things.
"Like what?" she asked, incredulously.
Like what?
Well, I could catch up on laundry.  I could reinvent the friendships that somehow dissipated in the past few months.  I could take on more doula clients.  I could write.  I could read.  I could clean my house.  I could sit down with a quiet and solitary cup of coffee in the afternoon.  I could go back to baking bread. 

I'm not trying to be a martyr here.  I love homeschooling her.  I do.  I love the bond we now have.  I love the lovely people who have floated into my life since we started homeschooling.  I love the depth and breadth and realness of the new friends I have made.  I love learning with her. 
But today, I was ready to chuck it all. 

Tonight, I'm still frustrated, but I'm clinging to the hope that tomorrow will be a better day.
Like...maybe...my client will go into labor and we will have the day off.  :)
No, seriously...
(well, seriously, that's precisely what I am thinking)
But seriously...
it's temporary.  This semester has been, overall, great.  I can't BELIEVE how much she is learning, despite the fact that she thinks otherwise.

In fact, maybe I should be happy she said that.  Honestly, it's doesn't "feel" like she is learning when she is reading to me a book about a family headed out to California during the Gold Rush.  It doesn't "feel" like she is learning when we are reading about the people of Guinea Bissau.  It doesn't "feel" like we are learning when we play math games with M&M's and Fruit Loops. 
But she is learning.
I am learning.
And it's all going to be OK.
Tomorrow is a new day, with a fresh slate...the promise of sunshine...and a mama who is at 4cm and is going to go into labor any second (please, please, please, please, please).